End Unproductive Social Encounters
Do you ever feel like you go to clubs, hangouts, cocktail parties, dinners, or any other social engagement with high expectations of having a good time, and being sorely disappointed afterwards, or the next day? Are you an over-achiever, someone who likes to turn anything into a game, or simply don't see the fun in social situations?
Well, I've got just the solution for you!
All car-salesman funniness aside, I've been working on this idea to make social encounters much more enjoyable, and ultimately worthwhile activities.
It turns out that just "hanging out" doesn't really satisfy a goal-driven person's idea of having fun. Sure, getting away from the grind and relaxing sounds appealing, but coming down from the adrenaline-filled work week doesn't mean you should sit around on the couch all day. It also doesn't mean you should go home after work on a weekday to watch TV until you fall asleep. Vegging out had its perks, but after a while it gets old. Now and again, you're going to need to get out there and shake some hands, bump some shoulders, and crack a smile.
Typically, while you're at one of these social events that can feel like a necessity rather than a real pleasure, you might enjoy the first 15 minutes, but pretty soon you've cracked what feels like the last smile you can manage. You don't want to start faking because that would just be a chore, so what are you to do? Run to some quiet corner to breathe? Stake out a spot against a wall and check your phone (even though there is no new email or notification)?
Instead, before you leave your house next time, I want you to mentally prepare yourself with a different ritual than the one filled with begrudging remarks about how much you are so NOT going to have. This time, you're going to set a goal. Don't make it some intangible goal like: "I want to have fun this time!" You're just setting yourself up for failure with that one. Pick something actionable. Make it something you actually want to accomplish. For example, "I want to meet two new people at this party." or "I want to chat up the first cute girl/boy I see." or "I want to take five pictures with friends."
Don't add a negative twist to your goal. For instance, "I want to stay for at most 30 minutes, and then leave." While you may be able to accomplish this goal rather easily, you won't be having a good time leading up to the moment you complete it, nor will you feel like you "had a good time for once". The negative spin on the goal you set will prepare you to have a bad time before you even get to the event.
If you really want to be bold, start adding more goals. See how many you can accomplish, but don't go too crazy. You wouldn't want to set yourself up for failure. And remember, celebrate the small victories. ;-)
Go ahead and try it. If you aren't satisfied, I will give you a full refund of this advice. If, however, it does help you have a good time at that next office party or in-law engagement, do let me know. I love hearing how you had a great time at that thing you went to.